Everyone-

I wanted to take the time to address you all regarding the anger and outrage over comments I made four years ago on my blog. The anger and outrage you are feeling is legitimate. The comments I made on my blog were very inappropriate; they were wrong. There are not enough ways in the modern dictionary for me to sufficiently say that I am sincerely sorry for the remarks that I made four years ago. An apology is simply not enough.

That is why I would like the opportunity to demonstrate, through my actions and through collaboration, that I am not the individual who made those comments four years ago. I am on a different life path, and have had different experiences, that have completely changed not only my outlook on my own future, but have opened my eyes to a number of different things. My life experiences since I wrote those comments have proven that those comments are wrong. They were as wrong and inaccurate then as they are now, but at the time, I didn’t know any better, and could only comment based on my experiences up to that point. Further, it was very unfortunate that the reporter in the news story on Channel 4 chose to edit his story together in the manner he did. My apology for those comments was not included in his story, and I was portrayed in a manner that would make viewers believe that I still feel that my comments four years ago hold true, or are legitimate. That is not what I believe, and I should have never believed in what I wrote. Unfortunately, at that time I did.

No matter what I do, I will not be able to change that I grew up in a small suburb of Milwaukee that is mostly white, went to a school district that has less than 30% minority students enrolled, and entered my adult life with views that I am not proud of. Those views have changed, and will continue to change, as my life experiences shape how I view the world. I will never be able to shed my past; my only option is to improve myself.

I will never be able to fully understand what it is like to be like someone other than myself. I will never know what it is to be denied access or opportunity because of the color of my skin or the history of my ancestors. However, knowing that full comprehension is near to, if not impossible, is never a reason not to try.

Despite the current negativity regarding my comments, I believe that something positive can come from every situation. I believe that by working together, we can bring to our campus an open and honest dialogue about race. We are the future, and we need to take it upon ourselves to build upon the progress that has been made, to bring more progress at a faster pace, and resolve the issues that we have as a nation with regard to race and race relations in America. Dialogue must be part of the solution, and I hope more dialogue can come from this issue.

I am truly sorry for the comments that I have made and the anguish it has caused to everyone. I am not perfect. I wrote things that were not only inappropriate and wrong, but are damaging to constructive dialogue and positive improvement. I was part of the problem four years ago. Today, I strive to be part of the solution. Please allow me that honor.

An email to a reader

My feelings are best summed up in a response I wrote to a reader who took the time to write to me today. Here is part of that email:

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I understand where you're coming from. Four years ago, I had just started a blog, and in journalism, they teach you that news is a business and controversy sells, so the best way to build viewers and readers is to be controversial. I took that too far, and said things that were not an accurate reflections of my feelings. The things I said four years ago were distasteful, bigoted, offensive, inaccurate, and extraordinarily inappropriate. I wrote things on my blog in the heat of the moment, when I was angry or worked up about something I read or something I saw, and I wrote something at a time where my emotions were in control. Instead of saving what I had written and coming back to it when I had calmed down in an effort to make sure that what I post was an accurate representation of my thoughts on the subject, I just wrote something and posted it right away without looking back over it. I made a mistake.

I learned from a mistake several years ago, and have changed how I go about forming an opinion and sharing my opinion since then. What I did not do, and should have done, was apply that to past comments that I had made, to ensure that they accurately reflect how I think. I did not do that. I regret it.

Again, I make no excuses for what I said. It was inappropriate and hurtful, and is not an accurate reflection of how I feel. An apology does not do my comments justice, and cannot take away the anger that they have caused, but an apology is all that I can give, along with a change in how I am as a person, and an ongoing demonstration that the person who wrote those remarks four years ago is not the person I am today.